THE PARVERIAN TALES Vol. 1
No. 3 DEC 2004 is published by BIG RED A PRESS, 18 Arnold Dr. Lisbon
, Me. of which, Michael S. Jordan is the sole owner and operator.
The main contents of this book are © 1999 by Mike Jordan; "The
Culmination" is © 1994 by Mike Jordan; and "Maldren's Tale" is
© 1998 by Mike Jordan. Any similarities between any of the
characters in this publication and any person, living or dead, is purely
coincidental-and because I don't think anyone ever had a nose quite that
click for full image
Questions about a character or place??
for all the answers.
had originally intended to fill these inner covers
with lots of words telling all about why "Beyond the Borderlands" is my
favorite part of "The Culmination", about my new light desk and all the
nifty composites I created with it for the Temple of the Hero Eternal,
about how Eric really started to look like Eric, and other
important, interesting facts like that. I even knocked off a half dozen
drafts of it before I realized just how much the whole idea stunk, and I do mean
on ice. Something on the order of watching paint dry while someone drones
on about how pretty the color is. I could have killed Bob Newhart
on Prozac at a dozen paces. Well, maybe not that bad, but it
certainly wasn't good.
inspired thought was to give everyone the inside low-down on our inimitable
cover boy, Faraniar (that's pronounced fair-ah-near, by the way). I
was going to start the whole thing with a disclaimer concerning the similarity
between him and that other famous bronze barbarian of page and screen, averring
that her is not nor ever was intended as a spoof or a rip-off, and finishing
with the logical proposition of just how few ways there are to draw a seven
foot, muscle-bound guy in a fur loin cloth. I would go on to state where
Faraniar hailed from (although you history buffs may have already guessed
at that by his relationship with Valerian.) and who he is and all sorts of
keen background information that goes into forming a seemingly two-dimensional
character. I got about a paragraph or two written of this before I
realized what a stinker this one was, too, and how many surprises I would kill
in the story by doing so. Again, the idea got round filed.
My final great
brainstorm was to use this installment in lieu of a letters page and do a
frequently asked questions and answer session. This one seemed like a sure
winner, and I began to compile all the questions that had arisen from the first
three issues. Soon, however, I became aware of two distinct problems.
One, it would take much more than the two inside covers to properly answer even
half of the questions, and two, all of the important issues (eventually) get
resolved in the story, and revealing any of them now would, again, spoil future
surprises. The rest (yes, you might call them the unimportant ones) asked
general background information not key to the plot such as: "Where and
when do The Parverian Tales take place?" to which I would have given some
hideously long winded reply such as: "Parveria is a purely
fictional place, but to add realism and a certain credibility to its existence,
I have placed it east of Britain and north of Rome and instilled
many Saxon-esque customs into its society (you history fanatics should have
caught all of them). As to the time period, where there is so little
accurate information on any particular era back then, I've placed the story
somewhere between the sixth and tenth centuries, with a minor slip now and again
for variety's sake. I mean, what's the fun of seeing people running around
in almost exactly the same clothing, in the courtyard of some wooden picket
motte and bailey atrocity? People like flair and stone above even
accuracy". But imagine me doing this for every question. Phew!
Nobody wants to sit for that sort of thing. A picture is worth a thousand
words is always my motto. give them a map with all the places clearly
marked, and they'll be happy. But, I very well couldn't draw a picture for
every question and choosing the most important ones from among all those
"unimportant" questions made my blood run cold. So I scrapped the whole
darned stinky thing.
unfortunately with nothing to write about this issue. I do apologize for
all this blank space, and I'll try to do better next time.
So until next time,